February 2012
Miss Piggy On Beauty
ribbonsandgeekery:
Gaahd, Miss Piggys interview on beauty for Vogue gave me a smile from ear to ear. I love that sexy body positive pig.
What are your top beauty tips?
Start out perfect and don’t change a thing. Always accentuate your best features by pointing at them. And conceal your flaws by sucker punching anyone who has the audacity to mention them.
Woman: Can I have birth control?
Government: No.
Woman: I got pregnant because I didn't have birth control and I don't want the fetus. Can I have an abortion?
Government: No.
Woman: I gave birth to my child but since I wasn't expecting it, I can't afford daycare. Can I have help paying for it?
Government: No.
Woman: Well, why can't I have birth control?
Government: Because. Sex isn't for recreation.
Woman: It can help regulate my period and benefit me in other ways.
Government: Too bad.
Man: For no reason other than for recreational sex, may I have birth control?
Government: Do you have a penis?
Man: YES, YES I DO!!
Government: WELL HOWDY, VALID CITIZEN. You can buy condoms by the dozens. Here, here's a pack of special condom for "His Pleasure." Oooh, these come in different colours and flavours. Here, try these. They have ribs on them. And this one glows in the dark!! LOL OMG DICK LIGHTSABER!!
Government: But seriously, you're a man. You can do what ever you want.
Woman: But-
Government: Shut up, you sinning, freeloading hussy.
boy: did it hurt
girl: did what hurt
boy: when you survived the abortion
age 15: i want a boyfriend
age 20: i rly want a boyfriend ok
age 30: no srsly i need a boyfriend guys im not kidding
age 40: pls im desperate
age 50: guys this isnt funny anymore cmon
age 60: its not funny guys
age 70: guys
“And what makes this so depressing for us is that when Ryan Murphy first decided...”
– - TomandLorenzo.com (also see their review of Never Been Kissed, referenced above)
seriously. this entire show is now about how terrible it is to be gay. the only happy, fulfilling parts of being gay on this show (klaine and brittana’s stable, supportive relationships) are shoved into the...